Talk:Four Warriors Cometh (Remastered - Part the First)/@comment-2142396-20191013131354/@comment-7662967-20191017182146
Yay! I am so gosh darn excited for you to get to ‘Summer’ omw *ahem* *cough* Anyways. I also think Tynek and Wildfire are developing a bond during this time, which they do have later on and in subsequent stories. I like to think that since horses use more body language and tone of voice to communicate than spoken words, Wildfire can sometimes guess what Tynek means without him having to say much. It’s kind of like knowing sign language. Horses rely far more on the tone of voice than what is actually being said. It’s something I want to bring more of into the second draft, since it can lead to some misinterpretation and confusion. Oh, if you think Sayna and Eostre’s big sis/little sis relationship is good now…. ^^ Just wait. It’s so cute, and in the second draft I want a lot more scenes with it. And in the beginning of Summer… mmm it’s so powerful. There’s one scene I’m thinking of… but no spoilers! (I might have to say that a lot on this comment… >.> ) XD Yes, Eostre can use both light and the absence of light, which gives her the ability to entirely vanish as opposed to either of her parents breed of dragon. (they can distort light or the absence of it, respectively, creating a wavering, transparent effect that allows them to mostly disappear when stationary.) Unlike them, Eostre can maintain her invisibility even while moving, and it is also complete. This does take considerable focus, and a reasonable amount of energy. Yes, she does have some weaknesses. She cannot weaponize light, like the Light dragons, and she does not have the paralytic bite of the Dark dragons. Also, she is always tiny for a dragon and while she is a lot bigger in TPF, is always several heads shorter than light and dark dragons. But all in all, she’s a rare powerhouse. It can happen with mixed blood creatures, the likelihood is just the opposite. Yeah. Sayna and Tynek are honestly being real selfish butts at this point in the story. They realize that Mossflower needs them, they both do. Don’t imagine they actually think there isn’t a threat, they know there is. Sayna doesn’t want to go back because she doesn’t want to be blamed if something goes wrong, and ultimately wants to never take responsibility for other creatures ever again. Cause of the whole issue with Marshank, and she thinks she’ll probably just make things worse. Tynek just literally doesn’t care. Like… at all. He doesn’t have the ability to feel most emotions, and he has no pressing reason to ally himself with Mossflower. Honestly at this point, Tynek would probably be able to watch the world burn and feel next to nothing. Verdauga was the one thing that united them and gave them purpose. The one thing they could both agree deserved to die for what he did to them and Rose, via Badrang. They do not know his daughter. And while Sayna has Groddil and Dancer to think of, Tynek is left aimless, no anchor to hold to and no light to guide him. The only reason he doesn’t strike out on his own here and now is that he’s physically incapable of it. They’re both extremely self-centered. Groddil is absolutely fascinating, isn’t he? I would totally /love/ to write Groddil’s past, and I have a great idea of how. Notice how he keeps a journal? Well… I think it would be fun to actually write that journal. He started it right after he became a follower as a final will and testament essentially, when he thought he would die taking down Ungatt Trunn, and he’s kept one ever since. He does, he really does… this is a road he didn’t think he’d have to walk any longer. That is exactly right on why his Prophet’s Soul is what it is. Ignasa grants the magic, yes. But it is the Prophet who determines how Soul forms/how they tend to use magic in general. Magic cooperates alongside personality, intent, and maturity/how the wielder sees themselves. It bonds seamlessly to its wielder and becomes an extension of their very soul. That is why Prophet’s/Necromancer’s Soul is called that. This will be a subject of ‘Accused’ more than FWC, but it is literally a manifestation of the soul itself, almost an astral projection, to put it in mystical terms. It is the spiritual half of a mortal taking a form they resonate most with to do their bidding, and while it fights, they are singularly focused on what they set out to do with it and are essentially just… vessels for their own soul. Which yes, they always are, of course, but it’s a little more… direct application of that idea. Their soul has fused with the magic and is basically fighting outside their body. Yes, writing Veil is undeniably trippy as heck at times XD Anyways I got way distracted, sorry. Your view of Pyralis fascinates me! Currently everyone has been madly in love with him and very angry with me at his naturally inevitable death. (I had an entire critique group threaten to kidnap my characters and protect them from me, lol) I think at this point, most people are just so fed up with Sayna and Tynek’s moping and self-centeredness (and their refusal to try and change) that they always cheer for Pyralis with literally no questions asked) This take on him is an interesting one and I’m glad you can see some of his flaws/cultural oddities. I will say on the ‘You are adopted now, no questions asked’, that is a deeply ingrained piece of dragon culture. Dragons adore children. As a species that reproduces at a set rate, they vallue children far more than the average fur creature who can always just make a new one. Dragons (and /especially/ fire dragons) have a symbiotic relationship to their element. In the case of fire dragons, they keep the earth’s fire alive, and it keeps them alive. If their mountain goes out, they would all die. If their numbers were to drop below a certain level, they would no longer be able to keep the lava flowing. Consequently, their entire species would die. If a young dragon is left orphaned, then it is considered their natural right to be adopted by royalty to in some small way, atone for the horrible loss. Dragons are very family-oriented. Pyralis hears these children’s sob stories and that they’re all orphans, so this is just the natural next step to him. It’s not even a question to be raised, it’s dragon law, and he upholds that law as king. There are very, very few orphans among dragons. Those that do exist are granted a family almost immediately. (hence the ‘You’ve been on your own for /how/ long?’ horror that Pyralis displays.) I do think some of this is shown throughout, too. This also ties to why he keeps mentioning the royalty thing, not as some manipulative tactic, it’s just an obvious fact to him. Royalty adopts orphans. It’s an honor to do so. I will say however. Yes. Sometimes Pyralis might be a little quick to claim he is right. I assure you, he remembers everything they say though, even if he might pretend to ignore it. He can be blinded by what he assumes is best for them, and he’s so old he’s kind of forgotten that whole stage in his own life. He’s seen Sayna’s future. He knows she will grow past this and is a little oblivious at first to the whole ‘growing’ part so he doesn’t always explain himself well. And this should all come out better in my second, less experimental and more polished draft. Pyralis is a little fluid in his way of seeing time. Sometimes he forgets the journey and jumps to the goal, other times he gets lost in the journey itself. Alo Dragons just view things as fluid and rather unhurried in general. They live far longer than the normal fur-creature. When he says ‘this is a phase’ he more so means ‘you will be fine, this will not be your life forever.’ Sayna just can’t speak Pyralis yet. However, yes, he does treat her like a child. He’s kind of operating on the idea of ‘Act like a child and be treated like one.’ He can see… pretty much straight through her and is just not having any of her nonsense. Yeah, he might do well to not drag her around, but he can also see her rebellious nature and decides to cut her off at the pass. He’s not infallible of course. I too am very interested to see what you think of him later. *nods* I’ll take notes on all of your observations and might make some character tweaks. I have the feeling you will come to enjoy ‘Dragon Dad’ as he has been named by others, but I’m very curious about this perspective and want to see how it changes/if it changes. It also occurs to me that one problem that might be arising is the fact that until Spring, Sayna’s characterization and personality is weak at best. A lot of her vices and outright selfishness haven’t really been shown. She’s not hardly a character until Spring, just kind of a blank cutout for the character she’s becoming. Sayna and I…. well… we don’t always get along well and she’s historically a real pain to write. I’d say the latter half of FWC is the best and clearest (as a character) that she’s ever been. And I do want more scenes with Pyralis depicting his relationship with the Co. and how it morphs. I was a little burned out at this point in the book cause of things and life and pffft. So I’m open to thoughts and I’m like… really glad you have this perspective. You have no idea, since no one else has, it’s very good for me to imagine different angles. I honestly hadn’t put a ton of thought into this and it is so helpful. And yes, everything is tainted by Sayna’s perspective (or it should be) so that could be a good thing, like, you know, her perspective is working. Oath-binding is very nearly infallible. There aren’t many loopholes to exploit, though there is grace. The biggest bend comes when someone swears to tell the truth. In a trial, a creature will say ‘I swear to tell the truth as well as I know it.’ This allows them to possibly say something untrue, but if they were honestly unaware of the truth, the oath would still be fulfilled. But as magic works very closely with intent, oaths are nearly perfect. What is the case is that an oath (lets say it is one on truth) It would not react if the one bound did not mean to deceive, but the other party was deceived. Like if incorrect assumptions were made. The oath is purely individualized and does not concern others. Ah yes. Gina’s… *cough* job. If it could be called such. This is one reason I haven’t thrown myself into the backstory of fragmented scene’s that ‘Echoes of Hope’ has become. At times it’s brutal and I feel inadequate to properly write it. Because of the nature of the subject matter, it’s also a lot darker than some of my works. And while I can avoid ugly words here, at least for the most part, not so much in the moment. It is all Whegg’s pov which helps, but still. He experiences these sort of injustices secondhand, and it’s… erm… not nice? I think I will eventually perfect it and post it, it’ll just take time. Pfft Stella’s a boss. I love her. Well, technically no, she was sold to that place when she was twelve, she met Whegg at thirteen. So now we may all hate Ripfang even more. And she was exceptionally lucky to meet Whegg when he was so young. They met before his mind could be warped like most of the soldiers, and just becoming so attached to the lowest sort of slave really re-worked his ideals about slaves in general. (he was fifteen, and just free of military school, he’d just been assigned to the prince. Whegg was the son of a minor lord, more like the mayor of a small town on the outskirts, and he’d never seen slaves like Gina. So she rather unintentionally diverted his view of the world considerably from his peers.) Stella gave her favor because she was so very young, and developed a rather motherly air for her. That should be clarified, there are several jobs for the lowest slaves of all. Gina’s job, oarslave, quarry slave, or otherwise harsh labor (like laying roads or building castles) These slaves are marked by numbers, because they’re aren’t expected to live long. The moment one dies, a new one is given the old one’s number. That’s what Tynek was as well. These slaves are treated far worse than a house, scribe, or personal slave. While the more important slaves are at least seen as somewhat valuable, those lower kinds hold no value at all, not to most. They are given the same status as a feral, a thing to be used. Many prisoners of war and criminals of higher degrees are made to do harsh labor, the prettier ones that wouldn’t really be suited for it are sent to do Gina’s job. Not if their offences are too high, of course. Half-bloods often get put in this role. And The council doesn’t automatically assume all of their lost family members suffered that indignity, but just one having to is enough to set them off. Many woodlanders are used for house and personal slaves, since they do make up the bulk of the slave population and at this point, many were born in slavery, making them docile for the most part and easy to control. But one criminal act that is punishable by Gina’s job is running away. So yes, some woodlanders end up in the place. Cases like Embrien are different. She was going to be killed, a woodlander warrior like her would never be put in a situation as Gina was for fear of the very thing you pointed out. However, as the Prince of Kotir, Gingivere basically bribed/intimidated to get her. And as you might imagine, the reason he did was Redfarl’s pleas for it. Hrm… *cough* not so much, though it happens. Also sometimes ‘personal slave’ has a bit of a different connotation than a simple housekeeper. The biggest reason that it isn’t just as widespread is the whole, ‘no families’ thing where soldiers can’t have kits. It’s kind of unbalanced in that respect. But trust me. They find ways around the system… specifically, if they aren’t of compatible spesies. Then it doesn’t really matter. And yeah, just cause a slave is male doesn’t make them that much safer from that sort of thing. I too want more Luna and Sandi! (next draft should bring more of them) And you are correct. Sandi would need Ignasa’s magic, secondhand or firsthand, to protect her completely. But if she’d grown up as she should have, the dark wolves would have had less power over her. The several that follow her around are the weaker kind, ones that feed off weak-minded and broken mortals. (one reason why Luna hardly notices anything. They bolt when she shows up. They would not find Sandi half as appealing if she were calm and happy. However, with a gift like hers, she will always draw the dark wolves. She’s open. She’s easy to mess with. If she were stronger, then stronger wolves would come. But yeah, she’d be a lot more of a challenge. *Mahaha* Ahem, Yes. This plotline. The tale of Bane and Fortunata. It’s definitely a work in progress but it’s so horribly evil. Hmmm… hmmm yes… *nods slowly* I do love all your hypothesis. And my mother is very excited to see how you feel about this piece at its end. (She keeps being like ‘What did Astar say about my plot? ^^ ‘) lol. Ahhhge I want to tell you everything but I’m promising myself I’m going to stop doing all the spoiling so much. So… no spoilers. Though that is exactly what happened, with Tsarmina getting angry. She wanted to up and kill Bane, let him take the fall. That way Fortunata would be pardoned without more questions, and what’s a drunk worth? The kit would be born, Fortunata wouldn’t be blamed… life goes on for Tsarmina. But Fortunata might be just a little… eh… enraged with Tsarmina, and she, knowing the queen /has/ to keep her alive for reasons I won’t disclose, well. She decides to take a jab at Tsarmina, knowing this will put her in a hard spot. That is an exceptionally good suggestion and I have put it in my book of editing notes. ^^ Thank you! Yeah, it’s kind of sudden, isn’t it? This plotline does need work, I know that. Ah. Well. That is also spoiler things. I’ll just say… Ferran is an odd one. He likes black, not taking responsibility, and power. He really likes power. And he’s of the mindset that if he must do something he’d rather not do anyway, he at least must do it right. But as for what ‘right’ means to Ferran…? Yes well that is… rather scary. And on your second question… well, that would have been logical wouldn’t it have? And there’s two possible answers. 1: Fortunata held high standing in the court. She was the king’s Necromancer. Resigning so soon after his strange and unnatural… almost, one could say… magical death, might look bad. Like perhaps she had some part in it, especially when it was discovered she had a kit. And 2: It could be possible that the creatures pulling her puppet strings simply didn’t care enough to do anything for her because they were both too self-centered. One expecting others to do everything for him and the other reveling in her new position as queen. Or who knows, maybe it’s both >:3 Honestly… yes. She needs a shorter, new name. I know you suggested some, I’m just mulling them over in my brain. But for now, nicknames are preferable to all that typing. Oh, it’s fine. I like them! They may take some time to respond to, but they’re worth it. And I always love discussing the story so in depth (You spoil me) I’m always a little saddened when people don’t analyze so closely. Not that I don’t love their comments too, and I get it. This can be a lot XD Thank you! *hugs*